Beyond me

I want to be held every night by someone who loves me. I want to fall asleep knowing that the people who matter most to me are safe and happy. I want to die a quick and painless death.
But I don't know anymore. I don't believe I have any control over variables of such magnitude.

My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a child; a mother, father, lover or friend in the hideous Delhi blasts. Lives taken and families torn on a whim. Those who left their homes with light hearts and careless smiles. Always innocents.

Perhaps there were unresolved arguments. Sentiments waiting to be expressed. A husband would take home sweets and trinkets to his wife to compensate for the previous night's misunderstanding. A brother who was choosing a silver bracelet for his sister with his first month's salary. A child tugging at her mother's saree pallu towards the stall selling firecrackers.

I don't remember exactly when or why I stopped kissing my parents goodnight.
Maybe I grew out of it, maybe because we had argued before we went to sleep.
The I love yous would come so easily when I was away from home.

I want to sing a song in every language on Earth. I want to change atleast one person's life for the better. I want to love without fear.
I want to live every bit of life I have because my life is not my own.